The BEST Gift to Give Your Husband This Valentine's Day
Dear Wives Who Might Come Across This Blog,
I am no expert in marriage or relational harmony. I only know what I've seen and experienced. I observe others, I slog through life with it's ups and downs. I struggle like the rest of the world. But there is one thing I am dedicated to giving my husband. Year in and year out I have one primary goal - a basic gift I want to be a foundational experience for our marriage, and by extension, our home. I want my sons and daughters to grow up observing me give this gift. I want this to be understood as basic - as a no-brainer. But it is something I think may be lacking in the lives of many.
I haven't always succeeded in giving it. I haven't been totally virtuous and uncomplaining. But I want to put this out there because you may have missed it. And I'll bet your husband has missed it. Just ask him. Or better yet, make him out a note or a cute card or some such thing and dedicate yourself this moment to giving him this unsurpassed gift. Tell him you're sorry if you've failed to give it before.
The gift I want to suggest you give to your husband is:
................(Don't be surprised)
.........................(You probably guessed it)
CONTENTMENT.
What? Not 'more sex'. Not 'Hot meals on time.'
Not, 'Keeping the house clean.'
Not, 'Letting him hang out with his buddies.'
Not, 'Hand him a beer and let him watch the game.'
No.
None of these. (Those are at your discretion.)
You can bless your husband, this Valentine's Day, and always by cultivating a spirit of contentment and joy in your own life. If you aren't content with what you have, how you live, the job he has, the state of your household affairs, your career, your lifestyle then I have a few suggestions for you:
1. BITE YOUR TONGUE (this is a temporary measure).
2. CONFESS YOUR SIN OF DISCONTENTMENT TO GOD (decide if you want to confess it to your husband).
3. COMMIT TO MEMORIZE PHILIPPIANS 4 (if not the whole chapter, at least verses 11-13)
4. PRAY FOR CHANGE IN YOUR OWN HEART.
Eventually, as your heart changes and you value God and your marriage more, you will grow in commitment to Him and to him (your husband, that is). Your desire for more and better and bigger and a higher lifestyle should be tempered with your greater love for God and a desire to honour Him - with a contented spirit.
As you grow and change, you will no longer need to apply suggestion no. 1, because you will not need sheer willpower and effort to restrain your complaints. You will have changed from the inside and will not find yourself focussed on what you want, need or don't have. Biting your tongue will no longer be a chore, because you will have no desire to complain.
This is an ongoing process. You don't wake up one morning and say, 'Whew, so glad I am now changed to a contented wife!! Now, onto other things...'
No. You wake up and check that tendency to wish for what isn't. You take those thoughts captive, give them to God and commit afresh to HIS will for you. You live for His glory - in plenty or in want. It's easy to sing songs in church that declare our devoted love to God. It isn't as easy to apply that love to our desires for more, better, bigger etc. We cannot rightly say we love God and refuse to re-order our loves so that HE is first and we are willing to be content with all He gives - including our wonderful husbands and whatever our lot may be.
I haven't perfected this. It isn't a formula. I still have discontent that rises here or there. But if I do I am ashamed.
Commit yourself to giving your husband this gift this Valentine's Day - and for the rest of your life.
***Disclaimer: My blog is simple, not fancy, not dressed up pretty, not hyped up, not widely shared or read. That's okay. I'll write what is on my heart anyways. Take it or leave it :) ***
I am no expert in marriage or relational harmony. I only know what I've seen and experienced. I observe others, I slog through life with it's ups and downs. I struggle like the rest of the world. But there is one thing I am dedicated to giving my husband. Year in and year out I have one primary goal - a basic gift I want to be a foundational experience for our marriage, and by extension, our home. I want my sons and daughters to grow up observing me give this gift. I want this to be understood as basic - as a no-brainer. But it is something I think may be lacking in the lives of many.
I haven't always succeeded in giving it. I haven't been totally virtuous and uncomplaining. But I want to put this out there because you may have missed it. And I'll bet your husband has missed it. Just ask him. Or better yet, make him out a note or a cute card or some such thing and dedicate yourself this moment to giving him this unsurpassed gift. Tell him you're sorry if you've failed to give it before.
The gift I want to suggest you give to your husband is:
................(Don't be surprised)
.........................(You probably guessed it)
CONTENTMENT.
What? Not 'more sex'. Not 'Hot meals on time.'
Not, 'Keeping the house clean.'
Not, 'Letting him hang out with his buddies.'
Not, 'Hand him a beer and let him watch the game.'
No.
None of these. (Those are at your discretion.)
You can bless your husband, this Valentine's Day, and always by cultivating a spirit of contentment and joy in your own life. If you aren't content with what you have, how you live, the job he has, the state of your household affairs, your career, your lifestyle then I have a few suggestions for you:
1. BITE YOUR TONGUE (this is a temporary measure).
2. CONFESS YOUR SIN OF DISCONTENTMENT TO GOD (decide if you want to confess it to your husband).
3. COMMIT TO MEMORIZE PHILIPPIANS 4 (if not the whole chapter, at least verses 11-13)
4. PRAY FOR CHANGE IN YOUR OWN HEART.
Eventually, as your heart changes and you value God and your marriage more, you will grow in commitment to Him and to him (your husband, that is). Your desire for more and better and bigger and a higher lifestyle should be tempered with your greater love for God and a desire to honour Him - with a contented spirit.
As you grow and change, you will no longer need to apply suggestion no. 1, because you will not need sheer willpower and effort to restrain your complaints. You will have changed from the inside and will not find yourself focussed on what you want, need or don't have. Biting your tongue will no longer be a chore, because you will have no desire to complain.
This is an ongoing process. You don't wake up one morning and say, 'Whew, so glad I am now changed to a contented wife!! Now, onto other things...'
No. You wake up and check that tendency to wish for what isn't. You take those thoughts captive, give them to God and commit afresh to HIS will for you. You live for His glory - in plenty or in want. It's easy to sing songs in church that declare our devoted love to God. It isn't as easy to apply that love to our desires for more, better, bigger etc. We cannot rightly say we love God and refuse to re-order our loves so that HE is first and we are willing to be content with all He gives - including our wonderful husbands and whatever our lot may be.
I haven't perfected this. It isn't a formula. I still have discontent that rises here or there. But if I do I am ashamed.
Commit yourself to giving your husband this gift this Valentine's Day - and for the rest of your life.
***Disclaimer: My blog is simple, not fancy, not dressed up pretty, not hyped up, not widely shared or read. That's okay. I'll write what is on my heart anyways. Take it or leave it :) ***
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